Breaking Down the Rules Around Helping Others - Finding Balance Between Give and Take
As women, we are taught that helping others is a crucial part of our identity and worth. We are praised for our nurturing nature and willingness to lend a hand. However, as we grow older, we start to realize that the rules around helping others are not so straightforward. We are frequently faced with questions such as, "How much help is too much?" "When should I say no?" or "Why do I feel guilty for not helping someone?" In this blog, we will explore why there are so many rules around helping others and provide a resource to find better balance between give and take while recognizing human nature.
The rules around helping others stem from a desire to maintain healthy relationships and boundaries. When we help someone, we hope that they will reciprocate or at the very least, appreciate our efforts. On the other hand, if we help too much or too often, we risk becoming a source of dependency or feeling drained and resentful. Our rationale behind helping should be to aid someone in a way that does not hurt ourselves or our relationships.
It's essential to recognize that humans have a natural tendency to help others, but we also have a limit. Our culture often teaches us to be selfless and disregard our own well-being to help others. However, it's vital to be aware that we have a finite amount of resources, and we need to conserve our energy, time, and finances for ourselves. We need to learn how to prioritize our needs and balance them with our desire to help others.
One of the reasons why we struggle with the rules around helping others is that we don't want to be viewed as selfish or unhelpful. We often fear judgment from others or think that they will label us as inconsiderate or mean. It's essential to recognize that we cannot control the perception of others and should not base our actions on external validation. We should focus on our intentions behind our actions and set boundaries for ourselves regularly.
Another reason why we struggle with the rules around helping others is that we may not know how to say no. Saying no is difficult for some people because they want to please others and avoid conflict. Practicing the art of saying no is essential if we want to maintain our boundaries and cope with the demands of helping others. Saying no does not make us bad people; it simply means we recognize our limitations, and we need to conserve energy.
Lastly, it's essential to cultivate a sense of self-awareness and reflection in our practice of helping others. We need to ask ourselves, "Why do I want to help?" "What are my intentions behind my actions?" "Am I helping for the right reasons?" Reflecting on our reasons for helping can help us identify patterns of behavior and adjust accordingly. We should also regularly take a step back from our helping practices and examine whether we need to adjust our boundaries or prioritize ourselves more.
Helping others is an essential part of being human, but the rules around giving can be complicated. As female professionals, it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling like we need to be selfless and disregard our own well-being to help others. However, the key to finding balance between give and take is recognizing our limits and prioritizing ourselves alongside helping others. By setting boundaries, practicing the art of saying no, and reflecting on our reasons for helping, we can help others more effectively while also maintaining healthy boundaries for ourselves. Let's break down the rules around helping others and start prioritizing our own well-being.
