Navigating the Holidays When Loved Ones Are Far Away
The holidays are often painted as a time of togetherness, warm hugs, and family traditions. But for many, the season can feel bittersweet, especially when loved ones are far away. Whether it's the first time your child is spending the holidays away at college or they’re only able to come home for a couple of days, the experience can be an emotional rollercoaster. Here’s how to navigate those feelings and make the most of the season, no matter how far apart you may be.
1. It’s Okay to Feel All the Feels
When your kiddo isn’t home for the holidays, it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions—sadness, longing, and even a little bit of emptiness. The important thing to remember is that it’s okay to feel all of these things. Allow yourself to acknowledge your emotions instead of pushing them aside. It’s perfectly normal to miss your loved ones and to grieve the absence of the usual holiday chaos.
2. Embrace New Traditions
The holidays don’t have to be defined by location; they can be shaped by the heart. If you can’t have everyone under one roof, why not create some new traditions that still bring you closer together? Here are a few ideas:
Virtual Cookie Decorating: Send your college kid a box of cookie-decorating supplies and schedule a video call where you can decorate together. It’s a fun and sweet way to share a holiday tradition, even from miles apart.
Holiday Movie Night “Together”: Pick a favorite holiday movie, hit play at the same time, and keep a chat window open to comment and laugh together.
12 Days of Letters: For the days leading up to the holidays, send a letter, card, or small gift each day. It’s a wonderful way to stay connected and let them know you’re thinking about them.
3. Schedule Time for a Special Visit—Even If It’s Brief
If your college kid can only come home for a day or two, make that time extra special by planning a few meaningful activities. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—sometimes, a simple home-cooked meal or a favorite holiday craft can be the most memorable. Focus on quality over quantity, and remember that even a short visit can still be heartwarming.
4. Create a Care Package Full of Comfort
Send a little bit of home their way. Pack a care package with favorite holiday treats, cozy socks, a handwritten note, or even a scented candle that reminds them of home. Adding personal touches can bring comfort and keep the spirit of the holidays alive for both of you.
5. Focus on Connection Instead of Perfection
The holidays can come with a lot of expectations about how things “should” be. When your child isn’t home, it’s easy to feel like the season isn’t perfect. But it’s important to remember that connection can happen in many ways, not just in person. Whether it’s a heartfelt phone call, a meaningful text, or a shared memory through social media, focus on staying connected and let go of the need for the “perfect” holiday.
6. Reach Out to Others Who Are in the Same Boat
You’re not alone in missing someone this holiday season. Many parents are going through similar experiences, especially with college kids who are away for the first time. Reach out to other moms, friends, or family members who understand what you’re going through. Sharing stories and supporting each other can help ease the loneliness and bring comfort.
7. Practice Self-Care
When a loved one is away, it’s easy to focus on their absence and forget about taking care of yourself. But self-care is essential, especially during the holidays. Do something that brings you joy, whether it’s taking a walk, baking your favorite cookies, or curling up with a good book. Taking care of yourself will help you stay grounded and present, even when your heart feels a bit heavy.
8. Make Plans for When You’ll Be Together Again
If a reunion is on the horizon, start planning some things you’ll do together. It could be as simple as going out for brunch or as elaborate as a family trip. Having something to look forward to can help ease the feelings of distance and give you both a little holiday cheer.
9. Acknowledge the Changes and Celebrate Growth
It’s hard when kids grow up and start making their own holiday plans, but it’s also a sign of their independence and growth. Celebrate the fact that they’re stepping into new experiences, making their own memories, and thriving in their new environments. You’ve helped them get there, and that’s something to be proud of.
Remember, Love Travels Across Miles
Even when your loved ones aren’t home for the holidays, the love you share doesn’t diminish with distance. The connection you have is stronger than any physical space, and your bond will carry through, no matter where you are. While it might not look like a traditional holiday this year, it can still be filled with moments that make your heart smile.
