Goodbye Validation, Hello Self-Assurance
Society has conditioned women to determine their value through the validation of others - be it from friends, family, or even strangers. We are constantly seeking approval in the way we look, dress, behave, and the roles we play in society. But have we ever truly stopped and questioned why we do this? Why is it that we need someone else's confirmation that we look good or that we are doing the right thing? It's time we stopped for a few seconds to consider a multitude of things, including the source. Think about when your self-deemed value changed in your life. How old were you? Who was playing an active role in your life at that time? What messages did you absorb as truth, when in fact, they were someone else’s projected fear?
No matter your answers, the big arrow for resolution points to women breaking free from the shackles of societal conditioning. Our confidence, esteem, and worth have suffered long enough at the invisible hand of others and belongs to our own expectations and opinions. Redefining our individual worth and how we measure success outside of that worth comes through cultivating our self-assurance.
How to Cultivate Your Self-Assurance
Growing self-assurance is a process that requires a lot of self-reflection and self-care. It means knowing your strengths and weaknesses and being comfortable with both. It also means setting boundaries and saying no when something doesn't feel right. Additionally, surrounding yourself with supportive people who encourage you to be the best version of yourself can help build self-assurance.
But perhaps most importantly, it comes from celebrating your personally-defined achievements. Whether it’s something within your personal life, a health goal, or a win in the workplace, you deserve to recognize it. Welcome your own greatness with positive self-talk - literally congratulate yourself on hard work paying off. Afterall, you are your own biggest critic so if you can eliminate the “critical” part of that voice, what remains to shine through is glorious appreciation for YOU.
Embracing self-love
At the core of leaving external validation for self-assurance is embracing self-love. This means accepting ourselves for who we are, flaws and all. It is about loving ourselves for who we are, rather than who we think we should be. When we embrace self-love, we become more confident in our abilities and decisions, and we become less reliant on others for validation.
So what does self-love look like? It looks like a smiling face in the mirror when you realize you had spinach in your teeth throughout that entire meeting. It sounds like your own laughter when you hear the high-pitch squeak in your voice during a guest podcast interview. It feels like you are your own best friend - marking learning curves and aha moments to be celebrated instead of being ashamed of. Life is truly so much happier when you have yourself to share it with.
Leaving external validation for self-assurance is a process that requires a lot of work and self-reflection, but it is essential for our mental health and overall well-being. By cultivating self-assurance and embracing self-love, women can become more self-reliant and independent, and can lead happier, more fulfilling lives. We believe in you - but that doesn’t need to matter. All that matters is that you believe in yourself!
